Friday, 30 August 2013

I have a psychic friend

So about six months ago I had the amazing pleasure of meeting a guy called Ryan Gooding! Ryan is a psychic medium and we first found each other by that little link known as a Hashtag! I was searching for a good psychic who may be able to help me with questions I had and also with my own sixth sense. Now people that know me well will know I am a very spiritual person, I am very into the secret and law of attraction and have also had the pleasure of seeing spirits from an early age.
I truly believe that we have the power if channeled correctly to bring certain circumstances and people into our world. Again through the law of attraction. When myself and Ryan made a connection it was very powerful and without divulging confidential information we had very strong connections. He has amazed me in many different ways, one in particular being a personal reading he gave me! He could not of been more spot on, with my path still continuing down the route he predicted.  One thing about Ryan, or maybe I should say many things about Ryan is that he is far more than a psychic medium! Firstly he is my friend who has let me into his little family, this family I describe as his wonderful partner and soon to be husband Darren, his lovely PA Linda and now his amazing crazy friend Rachel! He is warm, caring, generous, thoughtful, honest, genuine and trustworthy. When you are around Ryan and anyone who has been will know what I'm talking about here, he just makes you feel content, happy and safe. There is no falseness in his personality, he is a real man with a real gift. He also has a wicked sense of humour which he portrays through his readings and this just adds to the package in my opinion. He is a man anyone can click with.
So last night I had the pleasure of being guest at one of his events-an evening of clairvoyance at Trinity Park. I took one of my best friends Cuffie with me, as she too is a believer and was very keen to see Ryan's work and how he performs. I have never been to a show of this kind before, I had an idea on what it would be like but I was not prepared for what I was about to witness!! I think I should mention at this point that Ryan works with his spirit guide who is his dear friend Cathy that sadly passed a few years back, Cathy will be with Ryan when he is reading. So Ryan makes a grand entrance, confident, happy and full of energy, it is safe to say he lights a room up and you just seem to be drawn to him. He introduces the show and explains how he will perform as such that evening. It is not long before he is underway, working his way around the room selecting individuals who have spirits coming through for them. Now to say I was amazed makes it sound like I never believed, but what I mean is he just amazes me more and more every time I see him. He had three separate ladies reduced to tears because of the facts he was giving them, again for confidentiality reasons I cannot divulge these details. He knew finer details, he knew dates, relationship links, illnesses, cause of deaths etc my list could go on here. What I loved was how Cuffie sat and watched in complete shock :) I don't think she expected him to be as good as I had described.......genius does not even cover it! 
I feel so humble to know this man and feel grateful to have him in my life, which I really believe is for a reason. I feel proud to join him on his journey and that he is someone I can call my friend. I am particularly looking forward to watching Ryan and Darren get married, Darren is a massive and significant part of Ryan and although he is not the psychic I really feel that if it was not for Darren, Ryan would not be where he is today and the same goes for his wonderful PA Linda, she is a total gem and a great support unit for him. They all together make the perfect dream team.
So on this fine Friday I want to say a huge congratulations to the man who has not only changed so many people's lives but also transformed mine. I am truly grateful Ryan and I love you to bits xx If you would like to book Ryan for a reading then please visit but get in quick as he is almost fully booked until Christmas!

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Life is a happy place

So my last few blogs have been quite heart felt and emotional, so it's time to man these blogs up and today I am writing about happiness! That's right I am actually going to bring some positivity and describe all the things I think make and contribute to a happy way of life.
What is happiness?! Well this is something I have really tried to grasp! Is it a destination, a direction, a state of mind, a feeling, a sense, or maybe a combination of all of these. Sometimes when we are busy we loose sight of the little things in life and get far too caught up with situations that don't deserve our time or energy, yet it is so easy to slip into this trap. When was the last time you woke up and thought wow I am alive, I can breathe, I have a roof over my head and family & friends who love and care for me?! My daughter recently picked a leaf for me from the the garden, this may sound significantly small however this small gesture gave me so much love and happiness that it was then that I realised happiness comes from the smallest of things.
It is so easy to walk around with a frown but why not turn that frown upside down and beam a radiant smile to all the people you pass that day, you will be surprised what a difference that makes! I always feel that laughter is a cure for most upsets. A good giggle with people you love can bring happiness to the heart and warm the soul, it is also a good way to bond. It is funny because I recently went on a night out and had someone bring me to tears through laughter, this then caught on to other people around us and before we knew it the whole room was laughing. 
Life is hard, in fact it is tough. Nothing comes easy and sometimes things you gain you quickly loose, but that is life and what doesn't break us only makes us stronger. Sometimes you can feel like you have the world on your shoulders but my motto is, if its not death then don't panic! I love this Buddhist quote "happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are, it solely relies on what you think" we can't always control situations or circumstances but we can control how we feel and act, and I for certain want to be feeling and thinking "happy". So I have put together a few tips for a happy life: 1) let go of your past, don't let it be your future 2) be who you want to be-think for yourself 3) positivity is key! Negative thoughts bring negative outcomes 4) everything happens for a reason, remember this 5) change is part of life, embrace it, learn from it & grow with it 6) care for the small things and the big things will happen as a result 7) form relationships, see the good in people, share and care with them 8) live your life with feeling and purpose, you can achieve that dream 9) take responsibility, accept your mistakes and learn from them 10) Smile, smiling releases endorphins that make you feel better instantly :) Happiness spreads with a smile so get your grin on people!! 
I also find that music is a great way to feel happy! The most upbeat songs can transform a mood or state of mind, Will Smith's Summertime always makes me smile!  Life is for living, don't take it too seriously and embrace the card you have been dealt!
I am off to be happy now and I hope you are too xxx

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

The father who walked away :(

Take a good look at those shoulders Tara because that is the last time you will ever see this man! Those were the words that whirled around in my head whilst laying in bed pregnant, scared, confused and poorly, whilst the man I loved stood in front of me, telling me that if I had a termination for him he would take me on holiday! He made it seem like such a treat for an act I was not sure I could carry out or want to do. As he turned to leave my bedroom and head to work, a sick ache filled the pit of my stomach as I knew I could not go through with a termination and therefore I was about to take the last glance at the man who had been the only guy to take my breath away! The man I adored and loved so much was also the man who was about to walk away from his daughter and never be seen again. How was I going to get through this!?
I was 8 weeks pregnant when I found out I was expecting. It had come as a huge shock, as I had just got back from a holiday in Miami where copious amounts of alcohol had been consumed and I was also taking the contraceptive pill. I was living in Rugby Warwickshire and had just received the great news that I had a new job in Birmingham with Social Services. I was living away from my family and friends and as you can imagine I felt completely alone. I always envisaged getting married, having children and living happily ever after. I guess this was a vision I had created and dreamed of due to my own family situation and growing up without my father. You could say I was very shocked when I found myself in a situation I took precautions to prevent. I must say that when I gave James the news that I was pregnant he was extremely good, he offered his support and said whatever decision I made he would stand by me, these were words that I was later to find out were a complete lie and front just to try and twist me into having a termination. Now I am not saying I am totally against abortion because I am not, however we all have our own beliefs and deal with situations differently. For me I could not go through with terminating this pregnancy. For James he could not go through with being a father and sadly that day in my flat was the last day I ever saw him.
Throughout being pregnant I battled a lot of demons, I was hurt, let down, angry, hormonal and in love. I had his baby growing inside me yet he wanted no part of her life. It made me very sad that his own mother who you would expect to have maternal instincts, was very nasty to me and also wanted nothing to do with her own grand daughter. I am no angel and whilst pregnant I said a lot of things that were uncalled for and behaved like a psychotic mad woman, however I was pregnant and I had been left to deal with this alone. On top of this my body was changing and I had no control or a partner to share the experience with. Every scan, every movement, every hiccup the baby made or every heart beat heard was experienced only by me and I was alone in this experience. There is nothing more painful then waiting to go into your scan whilst watching all the happy couples waiting excitedly to see their baby on the screen and there I was sat with my mum!! No matter how much people tell you they will be there for you, nothing can take that pain and humiliation away.
On the 8th April 2010 Isla-Mae Olivia Young was born weighing 8lbs 4oz at 21:45. I was fortunate enough to have my two great friends Sarah and Chloe at the birth to help me, although I am not sure who was more distressed me or them! But thank you girls for making it as fun and girly as possible. Well the next 4 days I spent recovering in hospital and trying to adapt to being a mum. It was a role I thought would come very easy to me, but in fact I struggled a lot at the start. My whole identity had changed, I had a duty and responsibility along with a loss of freedom. Whatever issues there were between me and James I had tried beyond belief to make him part of Isla-Mae's life, I wanted her to have a daddy but he still wanted no involvement. She is 3 years old now and he has never met her. I don't hate him, not only would it be a wasted emotion it would also be a selfish emotion, as he has his reasons I'm sure and as much as I had a choice, so did he. I hope that he is happy in his life and that no matter what, I will never bad mouth him to his daughter. Maybe one day he will be fortunate enough to have more children, I am sure he will realise just how wonderful it is to be a daddy. Our door is always open to him whatever our circumstances, I just hope that somewhere deep down inside he thinks about her because she asks about him.
I do truly believe that our life's path is mapped out for us, and in a way I truly am grateful for James walking away, it has made me a much stronger and independent person. I have learnt many things in the past 3 years, one of those being that he was not a person who was mapped into our world. I feel blessed to have my little girl and when she tells me she loves me and gives me a cuddle my heart melts. I get so much joy and feel so proud to watch her grow, develop and learn and you cannot put a price tag on that.  I don't know what the future holds but I do know that after 3 years of blood, sweat and tears I finally have found peace and happiness within myself. I can't answer how and why a father or mother will walk away from their responsibilities I can just be there and try to make up with double the love. If ever Isla-Mae wants to look for her biological father, then I will give her the information to see him however the sad fact remains that she will probably get a door shut in her face. For now my aim is to help and advice single parents through Dream Bear, a passion I have gained through my own experience. It is so important in situations like these to reach out to people, and no one should ever feel ashamed in doing so. 
xxxxx Tara

Monday, 12 August 2013

Our special friends.......

Ever stopped and thought about the friends you have in your life and how much they mean to you? I mean really thought about it!? Well today I have been doing that. From the day you are born you start to form relationships through interaction with other babies at playgroups etc. You then hit school age and wham you are faced with a class room full of new faces, a situation you have never had to deal with before. You start to learn what friendships are about, you push boundaries, you fall out only to make up again! You cry together you laugh together, you share secrets and support each other in times of need! Each week you have a new best friend, you play at each others houses, you may even have sleep overs! Before you know it you are growing not only in age and personality but also in closeness.
So what about all those friends that you didn't necessarily meet at school!? I have been very fortunate enough to meet friends that I class as family outside of school. These have been co-workers, friends of friends, people I have met on a night out, friends I have met on holiday, at university, neighbours and many more random situations! I feel that I really do have a close group of friends that mean the world to me. I am not sure about you, but I find that certain friends play different roles in my life and I don't mean this in a horrible way at all! I simply mean that there are my friends who I tend to have a great time partying the night away with, and then there will be my friends who have children and we tend to do more child friendly activities.
Sometimes I think we all fall into the trap of taking our friends for granted and it can take something bad to happen to realise you may have neglected that friendship or not made time to invest into the relationship. It can be extremely hard when we all have different lives and differing responsibilities, however a friendship should also mean that you don't have to speak everyday to know you are still a true friend. I have had the pleasure of travelling on some wonderful journeys that have been created through the friends I have and they have helped to shape the person I am today! I really do believe that we become who we surround ourselves by, therefore without sounding harsh if someone is making you unhappy or creating a negative atmosphere around you, then maybe it is time to reevaluate that friendship! True friends do not lie, cheat or bad mouth you, they encourage, support, listen, help and laugh with you :) 
I recently witnessed the marriage of two of my closets friends Cuffie and Carlton! Cuffie looked beautiful and the pair of them looked the picture of happiness throughout the day. Not only was it an honour to be part of their celebration, it was also wonderful to be reunited with some of our friendship group from years ago!
It was a beautiful day when they got married and at the wedding reception we were able to sit outside enjoying conversation and drinks whilst reminiscing about old times. It is days like this that you realise just how much your friends mean to you and how much you mean to them. Days like this that you can never recreate but ones that will leave the most treasured memories captured through our minds, hearts, souls and photographs!
As a single mum I have relied upon mr friends a great deal! They have supported both me and my daughter. They have helped me laugh when I have been sad, they have helped me become strong when I was weak! Just like the song Let Her Go by Passenger says...........never know you've been high until your feeling low! They have helped me stay focused, positive and driven! And even when I have hit rock bottom they still tolerated me! So I guess this blog is to all my beautiful and wonderful friends that are part of mine and my daughters life to say a huge thank you :) I may not always show my appreciation and at times I can be scatty and un-organised but I do care about each and every one of you dearly, without you all now I would not be here today! Never forget to take time to appreciate and be grateful in life, you never know what tomorrow holds!
Tara x

Saturday, 10 August 2013

Long, Lost and Found

Growing up I always felt like a part of me was missing! A feeling I can only describe to people who have never felt this, as a longing to find a piece of yourself that you feel is out there waiting to be found. Going through primary and secondary school I started to realise my missing link could possibly be down to the fact my father had never played a role in my life since the age of 3. This longing urge and desperation to have that role model of my dad in my world was always brought to my attention in situations where married couples were present. I can always remember quite vividly when round a friends house for tea, how I imagined being part of their family, just for a split second I felt fulfilled and complete! As strange as this may sound to some people, when lacking such a significant person sometimes imagination can help you escape into a world you yearn for!

There is that age old saying "don't wish your time away' yet here I am sat in front of the mirror looking at the reflection of a 30 year old female, wondering how I have reached this stage in my life in the blink of an eye. I have a 3 year old daughter who I adore with every bone in my body, yet I find myself carrying the pain of her biological father not wanting to be part of her life. How has this happened to me? How has she come to be in the same situation as her mother? How have I let this happen, how did it happen? I can't help believing the statistics that conclude history tends to repeat itself and that my daughter is a product of me! This is a feeling that I want to turn around and to create a life where she doesn't have to feel half a person like her mummy has for all these years. Although her father is absent (his own decision which I respect & accept) I hope one day I would have created a life for her in which she feels content, happy, fulfilled and loved.
So here I am one chilled evening watching long lost families. I always feel great emotion when watching this series as it is very close to my heart for many reasons! As one of my good friends Ryan Gooding who is a psychic medium told me, I have a great psychic ability, and call it six sense on this particular evening but something told me to look on friends reunited at my old account. With the way social media has evolved these days, I have not thought to go on there for a few years! So you can imagine my shock when I find a message in my inbox from my half brother some 6 months previous! It was 9pm at night but I wanted to meet him, he had left an email address for me to contact him on, however typically me, when I want something I do it there and then as I can't wait! So the following day I investigated possible addresses for my brother, knowing he was living in the same town I found this a very easy search and by 6pm I had an address! It is funny how you wait 30 years for something so special, awkward and almost dream like! Yet when it arrived I felt completely at ease! Maybe this is a sign that my missing link was finally slotting together! So I arrive at my brothers house, I stand outside and then walk past! I am asking myself- what if he has changed his mind about meeting me? What if he has a family who I upset by turning up? What if I meet him and feel nothing? It's a strange feeling to know that you have a biological family who you have not seen for 27 years and to then have to build feelings and a relationship from scratch. Before I could think anything else I had knocked on his door, there was no going back now and I waited nervously as a man answered the door! I can say at this point that I was very lucky as I got an extremely positive response, something that not everyone in my situation would have! Also I am sad to say that this is a response my daughter will never get from her biological paternal side, but this is their loss. That evening I gained 2 new half brothers Philip and David, a nephew Finley and my dad! 
Friends and family that know me personally will know that my father was 23 years older than my mum and therefore I am meeting my dad when he is aged 85 and living as a Chelsea pensioner. My half brother Philip is 51 so again between us all we have quite a big age gap. This doesn't make me feel embarrassed or ashamed but it makes me sad :( In fact I have a deep sadness as I now start to build a relationship with a man who may not be in my life for a very long time. How do I deal with this when the time comes? how have we lost 27 precious years of life together? Part of me feels strange calling him dad as it is a word I have never used to describe a man, I also feel panic in how much time we have left together but I am extremely happy and grateful that we do have this moment and that it is special. I have gained a great relationship with my half brother who is a complete punk covered in tattoos! I guess this is where my love for piercings and tattoos come from. In fact it is quite scary to see and feel how alike we both are even though our lives have been completely separate! I'm not sure what the future holds for us but I am a true believer in fate and the law of attraction. It was funny because again Ryan Gooding had given me a great reading into what was going on in my life and what is going to happen and so far everything he said is being completed! He is a great person in my life, positive and a trusted friend who helps me with situations like these and I am very grateful to him. For now I am continuing on my journey of filling in all those blanks and asking all the right questions, whilst filling my life with love, joy and happiness. I have now completed myself in finding my missing link and what I would say to anyone in this or a similar situation is that life is too short, you will not regret the things you did but more the things you didn't do! So reach out and find that person, you have nothing to lose and like me it could be the best thing to happen to you :)  If you ever need any advice or help then please feel free to contact me