Sunday, 14 September 2014

Giving me wings

Life is a funny old game! Ever sat to evaluate your life, only to feel like you haven't progressed but then you look back and realise how different your life now is!? My progress has been at the forefront of my mind recently. It's fair to say it's something that keeps me awake at night. As a single parent I NEVER switch off and feel a constant panic in how I can provide the best for my daughter and myself. Not having that extra pair of hands for help or those extra pair of ears to listen/chat to can make it even more daunting and knowing you cannot escape can leave you feeling very vulnerable.

I am a very active person and professionally in life I want to succeed in my dreams that I have for both myself and my daughter, which include Dream Bear being the huge success I envisage. I know it is taking blood, sweat and tears to get there and things take time however with everyday issues arising such as family issues, time, money and a creative mind, I get very overwhelmed to the point I cannot function. I literally switch off and become disconnected from everything and everyone. I go completely in on myself and just like the weather can change, my mood is switched into a deep sense of despair! I panic, I fear and I cry. I know these feelings and emotions are preventing me from progressing but at the same time I don't know how to deal with them. I go from a positive succeeding single parent to a failing single mum!

One sunny day I was grabbing some lunch with my friend Jeff who was bringing me up to speed on his new exciting venture as a life coach. For me knowing him personally I knew there was know one more suited to this profession. His life experience, skills and personality make him the perfect fit for such a role. It seemed too fitting and the fact he was specialising in single parenting was an even bigger bonus! When he offered to life coach me I naturally jumped at the chance. I was a little bit nervous because I wasn't sure if I could fully open up to him about my demons or if being a friend would jeopardise the seriousness of the session.........of course neither of those were the case.

Each session I have had with Jeff has helped me address key issues in my life that are holding me back. I've been able to identify personal traits I have that cause me problems. I have set goals and looked at ways to plan better. I have addressed current concerns and ways of dealing with them and I have looked deeply into my own way of parenting. The last session we had was quite intense, with me describing how I felt I was in the ocean drowning whilst weights continued to latch onto me sinking me further and further. Whilst I was drowning Isla Mae and the world around me continued to develop and grow by playing on the sandy beach above. I had lost control and and I was giving these weights the value they craved! Jeff helped me to solve this scenario through guidance techniques that helped me discover the solution. Until that session I hadn't really realised I felt like this and that was probably half the reason why the weights continued to attach themselves. I now knew what I needed to do, one of those things was to say NO more often.

Single parenting is not for the faint hearted! When you have no other parent involved in the upbringing of your child's life it is very hectic. There are times when things go wrong, there are times when you lose control or your temper, there are times when you cry yourself to sleep and there are times when you feel sick with constant worry.  One of the hardest things to do is to hold your hands up and say "I need some help" you are embarrassed and feel like you are failing. It was so nice to be able to talk to Jeff in our life coaching session about these experiences in a trusted environment. Opening up alone released another weight that was sinking me and also he understood where I was coming from. His own single parenting experiences give him the most valuable skills and knowledge in dealing with these complex issues. I am not a bad mother, I am a hard working focused person trying to succeed and put my daughters wellbeing first. I am fighting demons along the way but the more they keep coming the more I am going to kick them straight off.

Life coaching has been my breath of fresh air and life line in the past couple of months. I have had some real rocky patches which without Jeff's coaching I'm not sure I would of dealt with in the best possible way. It has helped me but it is also developing me as a mother, an individual, professionally, in relationships and friendships. To me this is gold and will now form part of my life for the forceable future. 

 I think there comes a time in all our lives when we just need someone to talk to, whether because we are lonely, busy or completely stressed out. Life coaching with Jeff has empowered me to make the changes necessary for progression. I have been able to explore myself as a person and learn how to become more happy and fulfilled in ALL areas of my life. I cannot recommend Jeff and his team of life coaches enough! You are my guidance and I am truly grateful and blessed to have you as a friend, you have helped me spread my wings to fly! 

If you are interested in having life coaching then please check out or tweet @ComeCoachWithMe

Tara x