Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Trying to be happy makes you unhappy.....

Now I was going to write a humorous blog this time round but instead I have opted for a topic I find very interesting and one that seems to have a lot of attention at the moment………happiness J What does happy feel like? What does happy mean? How do you know when you are happy? Can someone make you happy? Or maybe happiness is a state of mind? These are just some of the questions that pop into my head when I think of the term. Now having been on an emotional roller-coaster myself the past few years and also suffering with a form of depression, I found myself always trying to find a way to be happy! In fact I think it is fair to say I would go to any length to make this happen. I managed to convince myself that certain factors were contributing to my unhappiness, such as not having a partner to share my life with! I labelled myself unhappy. I would set myself high targets of things to achieve in the hope that once I reached them I would be happy……..however I managed to reach them and still felt half empty. This is when I started to think, are we all too caught up trying to be happy without realising we already are? And by setting ourselves unrealistic targets in order to achieve happiness are we therefore just making ourselves unhappy?

I think the realisation came one day when I decided that maybe I should pretend to be happy for a day and see how it goes! Kind of like a spot of acting I suppose. Well I soon discovered that it was actually quite easy and something I did not have to pretend to do. In fact it was so easy that I realised I was not acting but just being myself and that I had tricked my mind and almost convinced myself I was unhappy…….I had learned this behavior all by myself! No self- help book, counselor  life style coach was going to help me, all I needed to do was accept I was happy and live positively with gratitude for all that was in my life. As Buddha says “No one saves us but ourselves, no one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path” The path I have now been walking and continue to walk.

Happiness comes in all shapes and sizes, it is in the air we breathe, we can feel it through touch, we can taste it, we can smell it and through our senses we can create memories that we remember from sound, such as music, or smells such as perfumes, now how awesome is that! I am actually listening to a track right now that takes me back to a particular moment in my life, I feel, visualise and even smell the memories this song represent for me and in my gut I feel happy. Finer details of things that truly matter in life are sometimes pushed to one side as we all seem to live in a society where everyone is operating at 100 miles an hour, we are so busy and stressed out that we don’t notice or appreciate our surroundings and take time to absorb all that is around us. Let me ask you a couple of questions, when was the last time you walked down the street and said hello to the random person walking their dog? When was the last time you went into a restaurant with a massive smile on your face, bursting of energy? When was the last time you stopped just to talk to a passer-by? I bet you can’t remember, in fact I bet you probably never have! And the reason for this is because if you did there would be a group of people laughing and waiting to call you strange or weird, because today society seems to identify and accept a far more miserable or rude person than someone who is bubbly and full of enthusiasm……..now how sad is that!

My point is this, no one but yourself can make you happy and everyone has bad days J So wear a big smile on your face, make friends, take exercise regularly, have a healthy diet, get enough sleep, find a job you love doing and embrace every opportunity you get in life. If something is bringing you down or not flowing naturally then have the strength to free yourself and concentrate on the things which bring positivity to your life. I would much rather lead a happy life than a miserable one. Trust your gut instinct as this is always right.

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